So you share your kids with your ex?
How’s the working out for you?
I will be completely honest with you, I love that I get to have my kiddo in my life in such a big way AND have an incredible amount of freedom with my time when he is at his dad’s.
I have worked through some serious mama guilt with this, that’s for sure.
Did you know…the first time I sent my kiddo away with his dad was to Europe for 7 weeks with a nanny in tote?!?!
Yep! But that’s a story for a different time.
What I want to share with you is a few things that have helped me immensely with the back and forth and ever changing world of only having my kid with me at home for 50% of the time.
What I have learned is that I must give us both time to adjust. Every single time he comes home, we both require a little adjustment to each other. It’s important to acknowledge that he has just been with his dad and I’ve only had the responsibility of me day to day for the last week. It’s so different for both of us and creating space for this adjustment makes the world of a difference.
We also tend to have the same meal when he comes to me…I’m not one for doing the same thing, I love to mix things up, yet there is a comfort in creating the same meal when he arrives at my house to allow us to settle into our time and space together.
Lastly, I do my best, depending on my work schedule to shut off technology and make him my focus…whether we are playing together or not. I am present with him AND in total allowance of what he needs to settle into life at my house again (even if that means diving into Minecraft the minute he gets home).
Some transitions are smoother than others, some take minutes, some take days.
It’s all about allowing everything to flow, dropping any and all expectations and allowing everybody to have have their moments in the transitions without making anything right or wrong.
It’s an adventure afterall…you might as well make it a good one.